{"id":539,"date":"2019-10-23T16:18:17","date_gmt":"2019-10-23T21:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dashiellbarkhuss.com\/discomfortblog\/?p=539"},"modified":"2019-10-23T16:18:20","modified_gmt":"2019-10-23T21:18:20","slug":"day-59-ask-strangers-to-take-selfies-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dashiellbarkhuss.com\/discomfortblog\/day-59-ask-strangers-to-take-selfies-with-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 59: Ask Strangers To Take Selfies With Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I asked 5 people to take a selfie with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not a single person said yes. However, I convinced 2 people to pose from the neck down. They were self conscious about how they looked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What Went Wrong?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I thought this one would be easy. But surprisingly not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wondered afterwards if the way I looked played a part. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On most days, I look like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But today I looked like this:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It was the first time in while I did my hair or make up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe people thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why is this super hottie trying to take a picture of me next to her? Is she trying to make fun of me?<\/em> <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Or perhaps a mild version of this: Maybe my put together appearance brought their awareness to their own appearance.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Originally, I thought my makeover would help<\/em> me. Usually I’m dressed in a stained neon hoodie looking like a maniac, asking people crazy questions. Now, I\u2019d be asking a crazy question while looking refined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in actuality, maybe if I looked messy people would’ve been more inclined to be photographed next to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do Looks Matter?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to these challenges, I\u2019ve learned that how you present yourself\u00a0matters. More so than I originally thought. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, when I looked like a cult member<\/a>, a lady was afraid to play paper scissors rock with me. And when I looked like a lesbian<\/a>, a homophobic lady called me a bitch.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Could I just be grasping at straws here in order to blame anything but my people skill? There\u2019s possibly a different way I could have asked. Maybe I could be more calm. Was I too smiley? Man, I don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asking Why<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The most uncomfortable interaction was the couple that asked me why I wanted to take a selfie, and then still told me no without giving a reason. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I forgot to ask the people why they didn\u2019t want to be photographed. Also, when they asked me why, I also had a weird reason. I should have asked if it was weird. That\u2019s what Jia recommends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self Concious<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What were they thinking? Did they not like me? That\u2019s suck a weird thing to wonder about a stranger, but I really did think about it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is this feeling I get when I fail some of these challenges? It\u2019s like I feel, pathetic? Incapable? Rejectable? Yeah, I feel rejectable. Which isn\u2019t a word.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel like:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If this<\/strong> person rejected me, society<\/strong> will too. And maybe for good reason.\u00a0 I\u2019m clueless, delusional, weird, offputting, and a bundle of nerves! <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Now, I don\u2019t actually believe this. Still, it\u2019s the best way to describe the feeling I get when I fail some of these interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, the more I get rejected the less it stings. I\u2019m starting to see that there are many flavors of people and moments.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never take any one instance too personally. One moment you\u2019re getting praised, the next you\u2019re telling a joke that falls flat and offends half the room. It\u2019s all ok. You\u2019re not any one version of yourself in time or space. You\u2019re an infinite being.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From my journal:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m clueless. I\u2019m wise. I\u2019m smart. I\u2019m slow. I\u2019m confident. I\u2019m insecure. I need validation. I low status. I\u2019m high status. I command a room. I have no influence. I\u2019m impressive. I\u2019m pathetic. I got my head on straight. I\u2019m a crazy bitch.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s all true or it\u2019s all irrelevant. Don\u2019t paralyze yourself over the intensity of one moment, or one facet of yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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